Holidays promised to be memorable. We had decided to "do Spain, the peseta during the to consider, even for the working class, holidays Mogul. The decision had been slow to mature.
Lucien had been explained by Jose fellow factory schedules bizarre, fries in olive oil, the tapas the tortilla sandwiches and the mysterious "Sereno! " was called into town at night to get open the door of the building.
During winter evenings, in the smoke of gypsy-corn and the vapors of plum, regulars had warned against the sun, the severity of the Guardia Civil , the virulence of the mosquito local, state dismal roads and macho pride English. And we had discussed whether to go see a bullfight "cruel, but where toro has a chance ...."
They began by buying a caravan.
The choice was long and painstaking. On the advice of friends already have, we opted for a rather small model but with two beds, one double and one single. We had a room for Grandma, she would travel this time they had managed to squeeze in anywhere.
Lucien himself had mounted the coupling system and had been searching the trailer a week before departure. The concierge had given special permission to park in the courtyard of the building of Billancourt.
Friends and neighbors came to visit, providing advice and recommendations, some gossips criticized the small size. "Lets say, Gigi, they would pull a big trailer on English roads ..." said Lucien.
Gilbert took possession of the premises, heaping dishes, cooking utensils, bedding and provisions, bought pots of geraniums "against the mosquito" and sewed colorful curtains. Annie, the eldest, a 17-year soft brunette wearing a sauerkraut BB chirped, taking poses, it was "groovy." Jojo, kid pale complexion, the grim look and ears, said the top of his ten years as the caravan was "super cool". Even Grandma rather suspicious to such extravagances technology after making the turn and tried his bed, admitted it was "pretty."
They loaded the rest of the material the day before departure, bicycles, umbrellas, floats, perishables. And all these people, exhausted by a year of hard work and took industrial miasma, July 31 at three o'clock in the morning, the direction of a campground near Alicante. José had chosen for them, in English, two months ago, a perfect location not far from the toilets, near the beach and in the shade.
The road was infernal in the day, under a blazing sun, with monstrous traffic jams from Orange. The caravan, however, brand new, a burst tire toward Narbonne. Lucien cursed the bad luck began to change the wheel on the side. Jojo found a way to play marbles with nuts and we started half an hour to find them with a lot of embellished with a few slaps paternal maternal contributions. Granny began to find the time long and complained about her rheumatism while still contributing to the great annoy everyone to scream its transistor.
We arrived at the border in the early evening and it was still losing an hour to go Customs. First sensation of unsteadiness, first contact with the ridiculous patent leather caps the Guardia Civil and a je ne sais quoi in their hardness and that number, entry, was feeling the heavy hand of Franco.
They had stopped to change money. First conversion price in pesetas. We watched with amazement some of these strange pieces were gaps and these tickets cheap paper ... They read the inscriptions: "It's like when even a little French with" a "at the end, we'll manage ...."
Lucien and Gilberte, who had his license, took turns driving every two hundred kilometers. We arrived so late at night that the site was closed and, like others, was taken before the tail gate closed. Then they piled as they could to five in the caravan for a few short hours of sleep.
The next day, in the early hours, they took possession. It unfolded the awning of the caravan, we planted the tents youth and met the neighbors, almost all French. It settled some issues of stewardship and we rushed to the beach to bake in the sun to tired bodies.
Parents sounded by the collapsed travel on the sand after stalling even under a parasol. Annie, all its effects bikini, (as Lucien had found "it could have anyway, get something a little bigger than confetti on the ass, especially in Spain ...) began to see the boys, seriously considering losing her virginity on the occasion of the first exotic vacation. The
Jojo, not tired, spent his time yelling, splashes of water and sand her sister and parents until he was yelling in the original by a stranger huge, red as fire, of a nationality that no one knew precisely determine the moment. He was so hefty that even Lucien, who had an abortion yet nothing, decided to let the insult to France and repatriated Jojo with kicks to the buttocks in the family fold.
Annie did not put more than two days to achieve its ends in the arms of a French neighbor, "psychology student". Dilettante hollow chest talker but he managed to drag him nightly in his narrow wall tent without needing to press beyond the minimum established by the conveniences.
But the young man in question while he was out of sorts, this was not his first attempt. And if it was not an arrow in his studies, however, was evidence for the thing to put an undeniable talent that "great" in states where it does not suspect its existence. Confidences of friends who had seen the wolf had been, indeed, only moderately enthusiastic. Also, before this unexpected revelation, it became very assiduous attendance of his clandestine nocturnal and tireless love.
Jojo He teams up with a band of rogues equally unbearable multinational who spent his time to commit hangable shots inside the camp. At first they contented themselves with foolish enough to pipe water as innocent people who were doing the dishes in the bathroom or hide the clothes of women taking their shower. But it chanced that during one of their pranks they fall on the giant which had dealt Jojo at the beach, and against which the boy had kept a grudge as a souvenir of kicks to the buttocks that it was taken by his father because of him. The man, a Finnish whose skin had turned to scarlet under the effect of the sun, who was there on vacation with his wife and two kids with hair so blond it was white, became their scapegoat.
Once they placed the turds in front of his tent, another, defeated the sardines for a nap so it collapsed on its occupants. Worse, they set on fire one day and it was a miracle if there was not a serious accident. The campsite management interfered, abruptly ordered the parents to keep their kids under penalty of expulsion, the floats in all languages were distributed and returned a few quiet time.
So be it then took the family camping holiday trips habits of Siesta : Grandma got up and trotted the first in a dressing gown to the reception to fetch croissants English huge and rubbery. She made the coffee, which usually woke Lucien and Gilberte. Jojo, all tousled, arose soon after.
The girl (well, ex-) only emerges towards lunchtime, with dark circles under the eyes when we already returned once to the beach. "I think she has a look of paper mache," said the mother, Grandma smiled as sweet and as all the seniors, she had a very light sleeper and knew exactly what to think about the wealth of his granddaughter. All evenings were organized
transhumance appetizing, invitations hurled, went and relaunched. The parties
alley starts immediately after the meal, once completed negotiations on the towers of dishes. Then we remade the world and the victories were watered until late into the night.
But one morning, after the ninth day he came this:
"- Dad, there's Grandma who died ... "The dextral
paternal springs from the depths of the sleeping parental befall a resounding slap on the nape of Jojo in pajamas. Is that clock like that, after the liters of sangria last night, wet themselves of pastis, should not piss off the man ...
- But it's true! replied the boy crying half Grandma it moving, breathing it!
The mother awoke in turn sat limply on the bed:
- Oh okay, Jojo! You're not funny, what time is it?
- But Mom, I swear, it breathes and is more bizarre I'm afraid ...
- Hey, it hears you, Lucien? Go see! It's your mother after all ...
Only a vague grunt answered Gilbert.
"Well I'm going. Jojo is my rest ... "The mother returned
upset:
- Lucien, arise. I think it's serious ... Little was right ... "
It was a shock for the family. Grandma is that she was old but apparently in good health ... In addition, we liked him: always cheerful, kind, adoring grandchildren. They went
awaken the great who first, burst into tears. Tears are communicated to everyone for many minutes. We stood there sniffling and go from time to time if, at times, the same it was not just sleeping very deeply ...
After a while Gilbert returned to earth:
- I go to the reception to know what to do. We have not even called a doctor, she said, recovering herself to cry.
- Shhh, Gilberte, we will hear you. Wait. Stay here, must think ...
- But ...
- Stay here, I tell you! Children, return your tents, I must question your mother!
Annie, this time with Jojo took her in his tent to try to calm him down.
- Gigi, you must immediately returned Billancourt, said Lucien ...
- But your mother?
- Ben precisely: can you imagine if the troublemakers are declared his death in Spain? If it is found they will demand that she be buried here. And how are we going to come and see the Saints?
Gilberte began to cry harder.
- Come, come, calm yourself. Have a drink, "he said, pouring him a glass of pastis pure. And even assuming they accept that the body is repatriated to France, you have an idea of what it will cost?
- perhaps they will suspect us of having murdered? ...
- Yeah, you can get stuck here for years ... With what they say about prisons Franco ... Think,
... They thought so that 'they came to the conclusion that the only way was to hide even within the party, to leave immediately and pass the border at night praying to God so that we do not discover the macabre transport. It was hoped a police presence lowest and flowing traffic. Once in France, we would return post-haste at Billancourt, we would arrange to arrive the night and smuggle the corpse in his bed. Then we declare the death.
Neither Gilbert nor Lucien had the slightest idea of rigor mortis and methods available science to determine the date of death, but they believed that their plan would work. Anyway they still saw no other possible.
remained the kids. And then the neighbors of camping. Would find an excuse. And why not, just a death in the family? It
Briffa children. Jojo was too shocked to protest, but the big one, spent the first emotion, found it bad. She had taken a liking to Radad with his student and forced to stay like this, in full flight, his education at the thing, it put him as regrets, feelings of incompleteness ...
Gilberte was responsible for spreading the excuse of family bereavement we have learned early this morning by phone from a booth in France. Canard that it served both at the reception as neighbors, while the rest of the family frantically folded the tents and camping equipment.
We managed to take the road towards noon. Grandma had been left in his bed under the sheets covering of linen and various clothing.
Shortly before midnight, after nearly 700 kilometers of roads barely passable English, the tension inside the family car became maximum. It was first decided that this would lead to Gilberte who pass through customs, but gradually as we got closer, his nervousness increased so that Lucien had to take the wheel, but he himself ends up not not carry off. If Annie, shared the sadness and unspeakable fantasies stood roughly correct, however, who had Jojo awakened after a long nap became increasingly hysterical, crying and screaming, which further increased parental stress. Fort
appropriately, at the exit of a bend, the sight of the border post of La Junquera and line of vehicles waiting their turn him literally cut chewing tobacco, he almost forgot to breathe. A thick silence settled in 403.
The customs stopped the car, claimed the documentos the vehicle and the ID, looked suspiciously on the occupants and made open the caravan with a blow torch quickly and he verified it was circular empty of any human presence, gave the papers to the stunned occupants in the car and beckoned to ride.
French Customs was even faster: "nothing to declare" they passed without incident.
nerves could finally relax. It continued the journey on real French roads and they began looking for a café to recover from his emotions.
At the pike of the day they found a "road" that never closed. We parked the car and his trailer in the parking lot.
Gilberte, Lucien, Annie Jojo and entered the establishment. Morale was already better. Another ten of hours away and it would be almost out of the woods. One could look to mourn, to bury Grandma, finally, everything is normal in these cases ...
ordinary breakfast proved insufficient, it ordered the croque-monsieur, eggs, solid food . Gilberte, who was behind the wheel took two extra strong coffee. Jojo came back into life before an order of fries, a few shots of Lucien agrees in addition to its white omelet and asked for a second big-sausage sandwich butter.
So it cheered as the surviving members of the family left the coffee shop " To ensure that road, "the National 9 in the morning already very soft, 10 August 1961.
After a few dozen steps towards their team, they stopped incredulous, open-mouthed and motionless, pressed against each other at the sight of their incredible 403 lacked a caravan which had evidently been stolen.
This lasted several minutes and it ended by saying that Jojo:
"But ... and Grandma? "
Frederic Spassky.
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